How To Outgrow Your Past And Keep Moving Forward

We challenge the habit of romanticizing the past and push ourselves to answer a harder question: who are we right now. We talk triggers, mental health nuance, boundaries, and why real progress takes faith plus work. 
• what got you here will not get you there 
• noticing new triggers and choosing whether to engage 
• why living in the past annoys everyone around you 
• the “three buckets” of getting stuck and why nuance matters 
• how insecurity and narcissism can fuel nostalgia 
• when compassion is required for illness and when boundaries are required for peace 
• why therapy and healing stop you from bleeding on healthy people 
• step-by-step growth that builds character and gratitude 
• practical ways to get unstuck like books, mentors, and better circles 
You'll find the link in the show notes and the comments.

Transcript

What Got You Here

SPEAKER_05 0:00

What got you here won't get you there. So be open to the growth because what you did to become this person, yeah, great. Uh-huh. Yep. You never stop growing. If you want to get to the next level, never stop growing. Pick up a book, get a mentor, you know, ask the right questions.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

One thing to think about the past, but it's a whole nother thing to live in the past. We have to stop living in the past because ain't nothing back there. But memories. People that are stuck in who they were in 1996. Because I was the man and I had this and back in my day, and I did this. Right? I'm not downplaying that at all, but who are you now? Are you the man now?

SPEAKER_05 0:43

Some people it will feel like overnight or look like overnight when they don't know where how God carried you because they didn't see the footprint. Exactly. And we gotta keep in mind that although God is a God that could renew us, we still have work to do.

Unmasked Growth And New Triggers

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Woman in Black is where we put down the cape and pick up the mic, being authentically who we are, where we are, unmasked, unfiltered, and unapologetic.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

How are you, Des?

SPEAKER_05 1:15

I'm scared to ask. Yeah. I've learned a new trigger of mine. Didn't know it existed. Um, that's all about that's what happens when you're growing and you're, you know, able to identify it, right? We talked about that, being aware. And uh yeah, so now I need to figure out how to address those triggers moving forward. If I need to address it.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Yeah, I was gonna say if you need to.

SPEAKER_05 1:44

You just need to.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yeah, fix it. Just know like this isn't something I'm ready to talk about or I want to talk about.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

Yeah, like this is I'm starting to believe that all triggers are not because of trauma. I think some triggers are because of maybe you grew out of old thinking, or maybe you were exposed to more, and you like, I can't believe this knucklehead done said, and it's like that ain't even how the world works.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Like, maybe it's not because you're at a higher level. Like, like you just said, your communication patterns, your communication style, although they're yours and you've reached that, everyone has not reached that. And unfortunately, there are a lot of people that will never reach it. Yep.

SPEAKER_05 2:29

So, yeah, and so I just need to know when to exit stage left and keep it moving.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

So I do when people be chewing on chips and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 2:38

Let me ask you something because I have the same issue, but I cannot watch it.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

You could watch muk oh heck no. So it's it's it's not every person that chews. It's not everybody that makes a noise, it's a particular sound. And everyone doesn't do the sound. Like I could watch those things on the mukbangs on YouTube, and I don't want to, you know what I mean? But I can unless I find one, come across one that makes that so you laugh. Yeah, that doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_05 3:15

Oh my god, that doesn't bother me crazy.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Oh my Jesus. No, but it's certain, like all of my kids don't chew the same, but when Jace eats certain things, I can hear him trying to chew differently because he knows it trick it does something to me. And I'm like, Jace, just eat. Right because the slower you go, the worse it's just go ahead and eat it, Jace. Go ahead. So then he gets to, and then I have to like start praying or turn the music up or what leave the room sometimes because I just can't handle it. But I'm working on it, right? Yeah, get some things in place to help me with that because it's it is so bad.

SPEAKER_05 4:02

Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, so every trigger is in a trauma. Sometimes just you don't like that, it irritates my soul. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

There you go. But yeah, anyway, I don't know if I said how I was, but I'm good.

Sponsor Break With Bog Bag

SPEAKER_04 4:18

Hey, it's Des here. Before we continue, if you're a woman who does it all, sports mom, dance mom, beach girl, healthcare worker, someone whose life doesn't fit into one lane, you need a bag that can keep up. This episode is in affiliation with Bog Bag. It's durable, waterproof, modular, and fully customizable. Whether you're headed to the stadium, the beach, or straight into a long day, it holds your lifestyle together without you having to think about it. You'll find the link in the show notes and the comments. Now let's get back to the conversation.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Well,

Stop Romanticizing The Old You

SPEAKER_01 4:57

just jump right in. I believe that the children are the future. No, seriously. How do you feel about um people romanticizing their old selves? Like, I feel like people need to stop, right? Like, I know a lot of people, and me and my cousins often have conversations about this. We know people that are stuck in who they were in 1996 because I was the man and I had this, and back in my day, and I did this, right? But what's more important to me is listen, I am not downplaying who you were and how far you've came, you've come, excuse me, guys. I'm not downplaying that at all, but who are you now? What difference were you you were the man back then? Are you the man now? Are you the woman now?

SPEAKER_05 5:52

What do you want them to do different, Josh? What do you think they should be focused on?

SPEAKER_01 5:57

It's it's it's one thing to think about the past, but it's a whole nother thing to live in the past. We have to stop living in the past because it's ain't nothing back there but memories. They stuck in them. They are stuck in those memories. That drives me crazy. And I I I put so much pressure on my boys because I have a trigger. I know someone who is still stuck in high school. Oh yeah, I know someone who is still stuck in high school, and unfortunately, they're related to my children, right? And they all they do is talk about what happened in the past. Um you remember that time, yeah, y'all don't even know, but she uh poured bleach on 20 pairs of my shoes. How many pairs of shoes do you have now, sir? Why are we stuck there? Don't romanticize the old version of me that you knew. Because listen, anybody who is not around me right now and has not been around me for the past three, four years, you don't know me. You you don't know me anymore. You might know that Josh that, yes, Josh always has something to say that's never gonna change, but now I'm picking and choosing when I want to say or what you know or how I'm gonna say it. So that narrative of, oh yeah, I remember she just used to be just blurting off at the mouth. Y'all don't know me. Stop speaking on me, you don't know me. Stop romanticizing my old self, my old past, my past, stop. You know what I mean? People get so stuck in the past, and it's okay. And I'm gonna stress this it's okay to remember who you were, to remember where you came from, how far you've come. But if you're not doing anything, we have to evolve. We have to evolve. Life evolves, we have to keep moving. If you're not moving, you're not doing anything but getting on our nerves by talking about the past all the time. We're in 2026. Those kids don't want to hear that anymore.

SPEAKER_05 8:08

You know, it's one of those things where I understand that some people lived at the height of their career at a certain age. Like we all peaked at different times. So some people peaked in high school, and you know, life would be like this anyway. But they peaked in high school and then they went down real fast. Yeah. So they might, I mean, I'd be hearing them at the football games.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

And that's okay, right? So, right, like if you're at the football game and you're talking about how good you were, right? Back then, what are you doing now? Are you teaching are you training kids? Are you coaching kids now?

SPEAKER_05 8:47

Do you feel like it happens when people don't fulfill their purpose, or is it that they're holding on to something that ended? I think it's both.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

Um, and I also think it's uh people put themselves at a certain pedal stool, and they can't bring themselves off of that pedal stool, even though in 2026 they can go even higher. But because they were just so I hate to use the the word big headed or just full of self, like just full of themselves. A lot of people are just full of themselves. Like I know let's use people illegal pharmaceutical salespeople from back in the day. Let's use them for instance, right? Those kind of people, they are they used to be the man and they used to do this and they used to do that back in the day, right? They were so full of who they were, it stopped their it stunned their growth from possibly being a legal pharmacist.

SPEAKER_05 9:53

I hear you.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Because I mean we all we all know.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

We all know a few people who just stay stuck. Some people though that were stuck when they do tap into their purpose, they take right off.

SPEAKER_05 10:10

Yeah, but I also know people who are doing well. Maybe they own a barber shop now, where they do this or that, exactly, but they just really was passionate about that that thing, and they just really love like they love that season of their life, but they not necessarily not doing well. They not, it's just they're not doing that. And every time they get in a setting where that is a topic, they have to talk about it. They have to talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

So to those people, I say find something else to talk about.

SPEAKER_05 10:39

Girl, you know that ain't happening.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Because think about it, motivational speakers, a lot of motivational speakers, right? They all start from a lot of them start from who they were, how they got to where they are, but you can't keep making money year after year after year after year, saying the same story. You have to write a new story, yeah. And some of it I think is mental illness. I think some people are just mentally ill and they can't move forward. I didn't see this fuck of it. This dead joke. Okay. I think no, some people have mental illnesses where they can't see beyond anything that they've already done in life. Yeah, I can't, but that's that's real. No, it really is. I it's a lot to talk about. Let me tell y'all something. When I'm talking, it's lived experiences, okay, people? Or it's something I've seen on social media. Yeah, social media don't be getting me gone, okay? Because I be questioning, like, oh god, guys come up with this logic.

SPEAKER_05 11:47

I do feel like okay, we gotta separate these. Let's separate these real quick too much.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

All right, okay. Your brain can't take it because it's been a lot going on.

SPEAKER_05 11:58

This is like three different buckets of people because it could be multiple people, it's so many.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Yeah. There's so many people who think the same. Now, I'm go ahead. You need a break. Just take a break. No, I don't need no break. I just picking and choosing what I'm gonna what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_05 12:20

All right, okay, okay.

Three Reasons People Get Stuck

SPEAKER_05 12:22

I'm not a a um a mental health professional, but um, I've definitely seen people who are stuck. I've seen it whether it be um because of substance abuse, but also because of incarceration, also because the environment that they're in where they don't really excel beyond a certain age. Um, and so mentally they're stuck in that age, they're stuck in that time period. Yeah. Um, whenever they started the drug use or got incarcerated, and even when they come come out, they starting at that age mentally, etc. Uh, so that's real. And I'm sure mental health professionals get in these comments and tell us about that because that's real.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Because it's really nothing to joke about. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_05 13:10

No, it's real. It's really real. You know, if we have those people close to us, we have to learn what type of boundaries we need in place for our sanity. Um, because it becomes a maturity thing, it's no longer just looking in the past and be like, I used to be that man, it's no longer that. It's they have not matured past that age. Like that just is what it is. Right. And that, yes, yeah, that's a real thing. So that's one bucket. Yes. We could come back and give it to me.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

I'm gonna put it over here.

SPEAKER_05 13:40

Okay, put it over there. Okay, all right. Then we have the other bucket where some people let's just name it the big personalities. Oh, they was the man, like eh, eh, eh, GQ. Okay. Or the woman. Or woman. Or the woman. Or the woman. And so I mean, you know, them high school or college days, and maybe they don't look the same. Maybe because you know, that's not alcoholic looks saying a part of the of growth. Like, yeah, they be looking at themselves in the mirror, like I used to have, I used to have to have six pack, blah, blah, blah. Some people say that like that. Yeah. Um, some people are self-absorbed, and some people are insecure, some people are narcissists. All of this can play into it, not saying that to offend anyone, but that's just is what it is. Some people are insecure with who they are now, and so they look back at their past and they really only have that to highlight. Um, some people are narcissists in that they have this illusion of grandeur and they're better than everyone else. And so they'll highlight every point in life in which they were better. Um, and so there's a in a self-absorb, we could put that with the narcissist for now. So all of that is true, too. I think that's the second bucket. And as a mom whose bodies change, the insecurities be coming out of all of us, because I'll be like, who is she? I remember when it looked like an hourglass. Okay. Now it's looking like the booty do. Okay. And I feel like that third bucket is people who really, whether it be have been injury or you know, lost something, and they're they're stuck in a way in which they are, they haven't figured out how to get out yet. But when they do, it's gonna be like they're gonna be straight. Absolutely. They're gonna thrive. Yeah, they're gonna thrive, but they just haven't figured out how to get unstuck because they may still be holding on to a dream that was only for a season and not a lifetime.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Or sometimes, um, you know, unforeseen things happen. Right. Like they get hurt or something like that, and they're just holding on to the the sadness of being hurt and the trauma of getting hurt. But once they get over that and let that go, yeah, they see who they really are.

SPEAKER_05 16:11

Yeah, because what got you there to achieve that can get you somewhere else to achieve your next dream. Absolutely. And those are the drivers, those are the ones who push through, those are the ones who remember who they were to motivate who they're becoming. I don't think that the same approach can be taken to getting each one up and out, because these are three different issues.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Three different buckets, and one of them buckets needs some of our happy healthcare people. She's serious. The one that's sitting right here.

SPEAKER_05 16:42

She got a story. Yeah, because it in okay. I know we spoke about this a little bit in a past episode, but when I said, and I didn't know this was a trigger for me, when I say people, the people who don't get help with their trauma, they put it on the people who are living healthy lives, and then we gotta get help for their trauma. No, you're the one who needs therapy. You get your therapy so that you can show up as your best self because I'm good over here. Like I'm living, I'm straight, even though I believe everybody needs therapy. But you know, some people may not need talk therapy, maybe need something else. But anyway, it's like the the people who do go to therapy are usually to heal from the people who don't go to therapy, and that's just a part of life, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

It it is a part of life, it's also because we can't, it's just something we can't even fix. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 17:36

We could speak on it and encourage it, but not for them directly, but you know, you know, sometimes you just gotta put those boundaries in place and choose, like, uh, yeah, no, I'm not dealing with you because you're real you're stuck in a way that is illuminating all of my past. Yeah, and it's not healthy for me.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

I know somebody like that that just has such a like an ear spirit. Oh, okay. I can't deal with it. And instead of answering the phone, I might text them and I might not. I might just say, hey, I hope all is well, can't speak, can't talk right now. You know what I mean? Something like that, because I'm in a space where I crave the peace that surpasses all understanding, and I know my triggers, and I know who will trigger me, what type of personalities can trigger me, right, and what you know what I can deal with. But have that I have a situation where I know someone who and she don't mean no harm, you know what I mean? But she also don't want no help, help. Yeah, she just wants to be heard all the time about the same stuff, and I can't help her.

SPEAKER_05 18:51

So Yeah, so you have to pick and choose. Yeah, well, do I have capacity today to listen? Because that's all she wants.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

And it's like being stuck in the past too, always reminiscing on okay when you guys were here, when you guys did this, when you got like it's not that anymore. We gotta move, keep on moving. We gotta keep moving.

Boundaries For Your Sanity

SPEAKER_01 19:14

You have to keep moving. It's okay to take a break, it's okay to pause, but you have to keep going. You have to keep going, and you can't leave God out of it and we out of your equation. And we say that all the time. You gotta you gotta keep like God in your life.

SPEAKER_05 19:28

Can't leave him out. Growth is important, resilience is important, change is gonna happen. So we have to have the tools to be able to deal with it. Life is life in the sense that we all have different levels of understanding, we all have different thresholds, and everybody's not gonna be on the same, you know, in the same phase at the same time, even. Um, because I I to be honest, sometimes I don't equate any of this to growth, I'll be honest with you, because I've seen people growing in certain areas, just not that one area that might be their thorn, like that might be um their kryptonite. But they could be a millionaire and still have some people have clinical depression, some people have, you know, different things that unfortunately doesn't matter how wealthy they are, they still may have this same type of attitude or perspective toward certain interactions.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

And a big thing for me is I I was like born resilient, right? But it it took a lot for me to realize that everyone was is not like me. Like something that I can be like, oh, just just do this, just move forward. Everybody can't see it. Like I can. Like everybody doesn't have the motivation to remain to get knocked down 10 times and get back up 25 more times. You know what I mean? Everyone doesn't have that, so that comes with it too, knowing yourself and knowing, like she said, where you need to grow, where you need to heal, where you just need to apply your uh best foot first, like every single time. I mean, and it's self-awareness is real. Yes, we have to exercise self-awareness is real, and that comes with growth.

SPEAKER_05 21:18

Mm-hmm. Yeah, because there's areas now that I'm realizing that I could be sharper in.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Me too.

SPEAKER_05 21:24

And because I'm like, dang, I come off that way, or I made them feel that way, or whatever it is, and we'll realize it's it's how you accept it, and if you take it and can move forward, and everything should be taken with a grain of salt, yeah, as well, because everybody's gonna have an opinion, but you can say, Well, I could live with that, but maybe this I need to do better on.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Yeah, and like she said, everyone has a an opinion. Here's a thing for you guys Q tip quit taking it personal. Don't take everything personal, a discussion that you're having with somebody, maybe they're talking about moving. On with their lives and you just feel stuck in the past. They're not talking about you. Don't take it personal. Quit taking it personal. Yeah. I like that. But into all the people who are down and out, and you just feel like you don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is. Keep God first. Keep God first. There is a light. And to are people with injuries or sicknesses, and you're just trying to overcome, there is a light at the end of that tunnel. Like, trust me, there's a light. We all been through something where we felt like, oh my gosh, this was just the worst. But if I I always tell my boys, if I stayed stuck in who I was, we wouldn't be where we are. And my testimony is through my boys. Because if I stayed who I was and I stayed stuck in the past, like that God-fearing spirit that all four of them have, and that um go-getter spirit that they have, the the mentality that they just want more out of life, they wouldn't have it because I would be stuck. So sometimes it's not even just always about you. You have to look at the people who are looking up to you too. And I have my my boys.

SPEAKER_05 23:16

Yeah, because you have people depending on you. Yes. Um, what do

Step By Step Growth And Faith

SPEAKER_05 23:20

you feel? You know, we always leave people with something, but sometimes I feel like they be needing something more substantial, right? Like what allowed for you to progress? And also, did you feel like your progression was step by step, or did God pick you up and put you somewhere? Because sometimes like he could exponential growth change your life like that. Absolutely. What got you? I've had both. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

I've had both. Um, I always say this saying, it's not my stop, it's my step. So I took steps, and then in some areas, um, like you said earlier, you felt like you didn't deserve it, right? And then you had that instant moment of self-interruption. You had to interrupt yourself from self-sabotaging what God, how he just threw you there, put open that door. You know what I mean? So I've had those moments, but a lot of the moments that my kids have seen were step by step, right? Like because they they weren't mature enough to realize how God just took us from here and just right there. So it's been it's a lot have been step by step, and step by step builds character. It makes you appreciate everything. It makes you appreciate everything. Because imagine if God just took us from step one to step ten every time with no hard work, putting in no work, no sweat, no, no muscle, no nothing. We would just take God for granted and we would walk around as if this is what he's supposed to do. When really, oh, he's not even entitled to waking us up in the morning. So that if he just does that for us, that's enough. So even the step by steps, not for me anyway, it makes me appreciate God more and who he is in my life, who he has been in my life, even when I felt like it was just the worst of the worst. And sometimes I felt like I knew he was there, but where was he? You know what I mean? Like, I know you're here, that's what they tell us, but why aren't you moving this? Because he needed to build me up, needed to build that character.

SPEAKER_05 25:24

Yep. I feel the same way, and I think what helped me is definitely I keep you say, you you say your steps. I always said one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other. That was my way of motivating myself to keep going. And even though we know we're deserving, sometimes it's still hard to believe, oh, I got here. But when you look back at all the steps you had to climb to get there, you you end up shaking your head like, yeah, I do deserve this. Exactly. Yeah, I did that, and then that, and then that, and then that, and I took the steps. It wasn't overnight. For some people, it will feel like overnight or look like overnight when they don't know where how God carried you because they didn't see the footprints. Exactly. Because God literally carried me from season to season, exactly, you know, and from step to step. And I think we gotta keep in mind that although God is a God that could renew us and and you know completely change the season in a uh a snap, we still have work to do. Like we have to put in the work. Um, faith without works is dead because we're believers, but at the end of the day, it took work, it took pruning, it took growth, it takes building your character, building your resilience, building your integrity, building your discernment muscle, like learning kindness, learning empathy, learning appreciation. Like these are things that patience. Oh, yes, the fruits of the spirit, like going to your next level requires you to become something that you weren't at the previous level, or else you would already been there.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

And it's also not on your timing. Because we can think that we've grown to be this, and oh, that don't bother me no more, and this don't bother me. And I've I'm I'm here now, and gotta be like, all right, let me see. Let me show you that you really not. And then because he did that to me recently.

SPEAKER_05 27:23

He be doing that. Like, I'd be like, God. I just thought I I grew. He'd be like, well, you need to grow a little more.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Yeah, and it's not that she didn't, it's just like not as much as you thought.

SPEAKER_05 27:36

Not as much as I thought, or it worked then. What got you here won't get you there. So be open to the growth because what you did to become this person, yeah, great. Uh-huh. Yep. You never stop growing. If you want to get to the next level, never stop growing. You want to get unstuck, never stop growing. Right. Pick up a book, get a mentor, you know, ask the right questions. Surround yourself by people. Right. Surround yourself with people who are growing. Yes. And that's how you get unstuck. That's how you move past. Keep a prayer life. Have faith. Have hope. It says that people who have a faith, um, they live longer because they have hope. They understand that it's not just about them, it's not just about my next day. It is more or less about I know someone else is carrying me through this. I know I don't have to fight this alone. People who have friendships live longer. Surround yourself with people who are growing, good people. Good people, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

And if you're one of those people who's stuck in the past, think about the other people around you. Take us into consideration. We've heard the stories umpteen times. We're tired.

SPEAKER_05 28:56

We tired of yo, don't go thousands and stuff with Josh. You know you're gonna hear all the stories. You know you're gonna hear all the stories.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

No, because I'll walk out. I will let me, my mom calling me. Let me go see what Jace's doing. Have your exit plan. That's what she said.

SPEAKER_05 29:13

Have your exit plan for the company.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

Please, because, and if you see me do that little one, too, just know Josh wants you to move on. Josh needs you to talk about something else. We prepare y'all for the cookouts. Because I know what you were wearing that day. I know what time of day it was, who was with you, what car you were driving. I know all of the things. Move on.

SPEAKER_05 29:37

Jesus, don't. I'ma have to pray.

Compassion For Illness And The Uncle Big Story

SPEAKER_05 29:40

You know, it's a lot of Alzheimer's and some men shit happening. No, no, no. Now listen, let me tell you something.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

What you gonna do? My uncle got a little bit of Alzheimer's. Okay. I will let that man repeat his story all day long. Aw, okay. You got compassion. Yes. Okay. But to the people that can control it, y'all, not my uncle. Leave my uncle up out of this. The people that can control it, I'ma need y'all to control it. I'ma need y'all to control it because I don't want to hear it. My kids tired of hearing it. We are tired. That's like if I told y'all a trillion times that Duty committed to a college, y'all would be like, I'm sick of this girl. Do you ever tell them?

SPEAKER_05 30:21

Well, because I'm I'm thinking the older folks, I don't tell them nothing. They just be saying the same thing over and over.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

One time I went to my uncle's house and I said something to him about Duty. And he was like, What?

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Duty playing for the Eagles, Josh. I was like, Uncle Big, I did not say nothing about playing for the Eagles. We almost, what? I was, I'm still, I can't laugh right now because we've laughed about it.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

So did you get that from?

SPEAKER_00 30:59

He told me it's a home story.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

But yes, like, and I think we were talking about going to a college tour. He heard eagles. He heard eagles. Eagles might have been playing on TV or something. I don't know. I don't know, but y'all leave my uncle big alone, okay? So him, anyone with uh illness, I have compassion for stuff like that, but I don't have compassion for the people that's just really stuck and they can control it. You can control it in some type of capacity, and I know depression sometimes leads to people being stuck in the past, right? But you can also set boundaries because some people Yeah, I set boundaries with the one person.

SPEAKER_05 31:45

Yeah, I don't talk to them at all because it's hard. Like, you know, I've worked on the um MDD stuff, major depressive disorder studies, schizophrenia, Alzheimer's, dementia. Listen, sometimes they can they can't even help it, right? And that's an illness. Yeah, depression is an illness that some people it's like a switch.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

And when they go in, yeah, but it's sometimes it's some people that with the fake depression. Sorry, don't kill me in the comments. It's a thing.

SPEAKER_05 32:15

Well, some people just want you to feel sorry for that. Yes, but that's also a personality. Yeah, it is, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Golly, like Mom Cabig said, golly.

SPEAKER_05 32:26

Y'all is a mess. It's like I'm a good day sympathy one way or something. One way or the other.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

And they just want somebody to stroke their bad. You're not gonna get it from Josh. That's probably one person, you know what, God, because I'm I have a tendency of saying things nowadays, and God corrects me. He'd be like, Yeah, we used to couldn't get it from the old one. But I bet you I bring something to you, and you're gonna, yeah, you're right. You know what? I'm right.

SPEAKER_05 32:49

You just living more, and so you're realizing that there's nuance to situations. Like you could be experiencing it with one person, and it's because of something totally different than with the other person. Yeah, and so we have to make we're making room for nuance. Yeah, the fact that some people now we know they listen, they what's going on is going on, but also when you bring substance abuse into it, them chemicals, them chemicals like the balance goes off. Listen, and I've lived some with someone for a long time like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

But I dedicate this episode to my Uncle Big because that just made my heart smile. Because he done told me so many stories about him and my dad, and I just let him go on and on. In the same one, the same ones over and over, yeah. He's like, 'cause Broadway, he was trying to get this car, and I'm like, I seen the car going down. At this point, you can finish the whole story. I could finish it all. Just how he said it. One day he couldn't even get the words out, but already knew what he said because he was laughing so hard he couldn't stop laughing.

Final Laughs And Goodbye

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Hey guys, yeah, we're out of here. Bye.