Women In Black

Girl Code: Unspoken Rules, Boundaries & Accountability

• WIB • Season 1 • Episode 5

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What are the rules of Girl Code? In this episode, we break down the top three unwritten rules that keep friendships strong:

  • Don’t air it out online
  • Hold each other accountable (with grace)
  • Respect boundaries (yes, even with siblings 👀)

From personal stories to real-life lessons, we share how loyalty, honesty, and maturity shape sisterhood. Whether you’ve had to check a friend, rethink your circle, or wonder where the line really is, this conversation is for you.

✨ Join the Women in Black community and share this with someone who needs it.

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Speaker 1:

Rule number one I don't care how mad you get at your girl, don't take it to the internet.

Speaker 2:

I don't even play like that, if you find yourself in a situation, evaluate your French circle, re-evaluate it and ask yourself what level am I operating at? Confident women are not intimidated by each other.

Speaker 1:

I don't want nobody around me that I feel like I got to walk on eggshells, with you going to date my baby dad. You going to take care of my kids.

Speaker 2:

He's yours Like a friend, take him. I know what Josh brings to the table and I know what I bring to the table and therefore there's really there's no competition, right, we eating together that's why we sitting here, let me feed you eat, everybody eat.

Speaker 1:

Come on, if you're awesome eating girls, eat it up there you go eat it up all righty, check in.

Speaker 2:

So I got a book, let's check in. But um, before we check in, I got this book I got from five below. It's called the Power of Numbers.

Speaker 1:

I like numbers. What's?

Speaker 2:

your favorite number.

Speaker 1:

Seven, seven seven.

Speaker 2:

Well, we know what seven represents in the Bible. Let's see if there's any alignment to what it represents in the universe. I'm going to read just the first part. So seven, it says the thinker. I'm going to read just the first part. So seven, it says the thinker. Deep thoughts come naturally to number seven, both analytical and perceptive. They seek knowledge of all worlds and realms, from what we can see and touch to what we can imagine and I would have never said that word like like that, because this reminds me of TurboTax what we can imagine and intuit like intuition.

Speaker 1:

But the fact that I just said intuit like that messed me up and I just seen it in my brain the red TurboTax Right it just messed me up.

Speaker 2:

Okay, they are philosophers and intellectuals. There's more there's a whole chapter on number seven. How do you feel about that, though?

Speaker 1:

That's me A little bit.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, a lot of it A lot of it, a lot of it. You be thinking.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, I know what's your favorite number 22., 22.

Speaker 2:

22. Wisdom knowledge.

Speaker 1:

So why didn't you find my number 777? It ain't enough pages, no it's that.

Speaker 2:

Oh, you said three sevens. I thought you were saying I thought you were saying seven, like no, okay, 777. 777.

Speaker 1:

So Trying to cut me short.

Speaker 2:

so her real number, angel number 777. We live in a fast-paced world and it often seems as if the world is only moving faster. Angel number 777 provides an antidote to go, go, go, asking you to sit, sit, sit, sit in calmness and stillness. And it goes further to talk about mindfulness. Although it's trending, there's studies behind that quiet time and what it could do for your stress, your health, overall anxiety.

Speaker 1:

Hence why I don't watch TV. Yeah, yeah, whew, yeah, I don't watch TV y'all, that's powerful quiet time. Yeah, whew, yeah I watch TV y'all.

Speaker 2:

That's powerful and that's important. Yeah, Because I watch TV. Maybe that's why I can't watch it.

Speaker 1:

It has to be like a really good series for me to be like oh, I'm about to watch TV, Right.

Speaker 2:

So what you be doing Thinking In my head. Do you write it down? Because I write stuff down.

Speaker 1:

I journal a lot yeah me too. So I journal a lot. But I love music.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't so wait, you'll sit there and just listen to music, or listen to music and journal.

Speaker 1:

No, I can only do one at a time. Okay, because when I journal, before I journal, I read would you be reading?

Speaker 2:

my bible.

Speaker 1:

So disciplined, because I want my journaling to be intentional well, that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

My journaling takes a different course, because it's usually a release, because it's usually a release. So yeah, so I journal, get it out my head onto paper, then read my Bible.

Speaker 1:

Okay, then I read my Bible. Everything's coming out, though.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

When I journal everything, I'm not saying I'm journaling reading my Bible, then journaling about what I read. I'm journaling reading my Bible, then journaling about what I read. I'm still releasing. It's just something I do Like read, pray journal.

Speaker 2:

That's cool, though, because maybe your journal looks very different from mine.

Speaker 1:

No, Maybe different situations.

Speaker 2:

I got angry journals.

Speaker 1:

I think my journal is angry when I get mad, so that's what I need to do when I get mad is journal.

Speaker 2:

But you read the Bible first.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it takes me a couple days to talk about what I was mad about and journal it. Does that make sense? I won't journal when I'm angry. What do you do when you're angry? I just lay back. I call my mom, my HR professional, my mom is my business partner, my HR business partner. I call my mom and then I just relax, just breathe, pray, just be chilling. I listen to music To calm you. That's real. The old me used to be going off. Yeah, and some people that, like my family, they probably don't know this version of me, so they probably think I still be just going off. Takes a lot to go off, though it's a lot of energy.

Speaker 2:

They probably think I still be just going off. Takes a lot to go off, though it's a lot of energy. That's why I just be ignoring people half the time now.

Speaker 1:

It don't take that much energy to go off. Yes, it does. No it doesn't, because here's the thing If I'm going off on you, it's not just because I just feel like it, it's because I've been triggered because you must have did something. I'm not just going to go off on anybody, so you must have did something to me that I would never in a million years have thought to do to you. So it's not going to be hard for me to go off because I'm looking at you like I don't want people to do that to.

Speaker 2:

I didn't say it was hard, it ain't hard, it's not hard, it's just a lot of energy for me, for you, yeah, because it's like I don't like people wasting my time, because I don't feel like they even deserve that part of me. I need to get there.

Speaker 1:

But I'm not there.

Speaker 2:

Yet, like in this day and age, like it would be a hell, like I don't want to say a heck of a lot again, because last time I said that on the podcast my husband said you said that kind of hard. That probably did a lot, a lot behind. You probably did say it hard too. I did. So we just ain't gonna say that part right now, but try to let it out in other ways. But, like you said, if you get fed up but I don't like how I feel- after you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

That and that's the reason why, when I tell you all the time like I would just be, just be chilling and I would just stay away, yeah, because I don't want, I love and I love hard, so I'm not even going to put myself in jeopardy to feel like somebody might do me wrong, somebody that I really care about.

Speaker 2:

Right and.

Speaker 1:

I might have to like come out of my face to go off on somebody. I don't want to do that. I've done that a lot, me too, so I don't want to do that, no more it is exhausting.

Speaker 2:

That's how I feel, and I just had to check myself a lot because it's just like I'm very passionate and I'm so chill you know what I'm saying. And so I don't like that side of me. And so I had to recognize like, let them just be, let them wallow in their BS and let God handle it, right. And then, but you know how I be feeling, though, because I'll tell somebody, I'll tell someone else, you know what I'm saying, but my response to that person gonna be very like matter of fact, but I'm not saying my response to Josh and my sisters may not be, you know what I mean, but I also don't like people to see me sweat, so I don't like them to know they trigger me, because I don't like them to have authority over my feelings. I'm not perfect. I still have my moments, but that's just how my thought process is about it.

Speaker 1:

That's a good way of thinking. That's a good way of thinking. See, there we go, another level of the soft girl era that I got to graduate to. That's soft, I guess. Instead of being a rough rider all the time running off at the mouth, that's soft, I guess. Instead of being a rough rider all the time running off at the mouth, that's soft. Yeah, those days are over. Yeah, those days are over for me. Yeah, those days are pretty much over for the most part, because now the people that trigger me I don't have any contact with them.

Speaker 2:

That's why I'm where I am and as far away as I am too, I mean. There's other reasons too. Obviously. I'm in a town where I'm not by close friends. I'm far, yeah, ain't no joke. I'm not perfect, though.

Speaker 1:

No one is.

Speaker 2:

Real quick. My angel number is 22 for a number of different reasons, but, um, this is what it has to say about 22. If number 11 is the person with the plan, then number 22 is the person with the tools to turn the plan into action Period. That is so me. While 11 is the dreamer, 22 is the dynamo. 22s are the unsung heroes, the people behind the scenes, the people with their heads down making things happen.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that was deep. You have that book from Five Below.

Speaker 2:

I'm about to cry.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no I really am about to cry, please don't. That's why I'm saying no, please don't. I can't take that right now. I can't cry after that. It's funny. No, please, please don't. Thank you. Not, you Not right now. Not right now. Thanks, sorry, was that insensitive?

Speaker 2:

No, I needed that at that moment All right. Because I don't think I got no time for that. No, not today, not today. No, no, not today. That's very representative of my life. You know, in a lot of different areas, even at work life. You know in a lot of different areas, even at work. You know, and it's okay, I work because I get paid for it exactly, but it's the heart when you don't get paid all right, that was a cool little something.

Speaker 2:

But before we jump into our topic, just checking in how have you been? How's the last couple days been for you? Pretty.

Speaker 1:

Pretty good, pretty, pretty cool. Can I tell you what happened to me? Yeah, alright, so I'm getting a smoothie because I'm on a lifestyle change, so I'm getting a smoothie this morning, mind my business, and some little boy he could have been no more than five or six he scoops up to me and say why are you looking at me like that? For? Sir, I don't even know you, where did you come from? He said why you looking at me like that for? And all I could do was laugh because in my mind I'm like, because your nose running, it's eight o'clock and your nose running, his nose was running, and then his mom just, or whoever he was with just comes and just was like come on. So I'm like she could don't that because she ain't correct you ain't correct this little boy.

Speaker 1:

You go going to come up to and he had this scooter. He took his scooter, scooted up and in my mind I feel like he did that like, turn, like, that, turn, like why you look at me, why you look at me like that. For, first of all, take four out of it. Take four out of the vocabulary.

Speaker 1:

You sound like DJ so bad. Why you look at me like that. For I was like sir, listen, I want no smoke. I want no smoke. We are in a crime town, okay, I want no smoke with your five six-year-old behind, so I ain't even answer him. But other than that, I'm feeling good. I just had to. Oh God, yep, eight o'clock in the morning All I was doing was getting my green smoothie. Two smoothies a day keeps the carbs away.

Speaker 2:

I know that's right. I'm about to say that in my head. I made that up too. We might have to make it into a song.

Speaker 1:

Two smoothies a day.

Speaker 2:

Keeps the carbs away, away. Hey, we got it.

Speaker 1:

Don't play.

Speaker 2:

Hey, that what you got outside.

Speaker 1:

Alright, we ain't gonna talk about this little boy. No more Cause if he watching, I got a son and some nephews.

Speaker 2:

That's funny. What's up with you? I'm good. A son and some nephews, that's funny. What's up with you? I'm good, you know, just balancing life. When I came downstairs with my bun up here, dj was like oh, mommy, you so fine. I said who you hear that from and what is you talking about? He's like you, look good, mommy, you look good. I said thank you, it's your four. Is you talking about? He's like you, look good, mommy, you look good. I said thank you, it's your four-year-old self just talking. It's the kids he love, his mom, he in that stage. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, he just think I'm so beautiful you are. Oh, thank you. Don't cry, I'm not Y'all, it's that time of the month.

Speaker 1:

That's what we really need to be talking about.

Speaker 2:

Right, because the emotions are emotional.

Speaker 1:

The emotions be emotional. I'm on an emotional roller coaster. We just going to keep stopping every time like that. Oh my.

Speaker 2:

God, because I do it in my head.

Speaker 1:

It's like the ADD make a song out of everything and it just Stop saying that, because my head be moving like your head and I'm not diagnosing myself with ADD. Don't.

Speaker 2:

But if you do, you find some help.

Speaker 1:

Because when I was, have you been diagnosed? Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay, when I was a teenager.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

That's a whole story. Because it wasn't easy, I thought I was losing my mind.

Speaker 1:

And cut this out. Cut this out, not even you, for real. Yeah, all right.

Speaker 2:

Somebody need to hear it.

Speaker 1:

In a couple months they're going to be eating us up Like she only said that because she got ADD. She only said that because she got ADD. She don't know what she talking about. Remember, she told us she got ADD, y'all.

Speaker 2:

No way, because they eat you up? Yeah, they do. But let me tell you ADD and intellect are two different things. Good job.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know that. Yeah, intelligence and ADD. Oh, yes, yes, I did know that. Yes, I did.

Speaker 2:

You know they're very intelligent. I'm just playing with y'all.

Speaker 1:

Who.

Speaker 2:

I love ADD, but nah, somebody's going to need to hear that story one day. Okay, because it's not typical one day. Because it's not, um, it's not typical and because I was always in high functioning, like high IQ classes and stuff, it wasn't understood as that and so gotcha, that makes sense, yeah, so it just kept me busy that makes, because they be ready to eat us up, because they been eating me up about that.

Speaker 1:

Real. I said what I said, though you meant it. Go watch the podcast, right, anyway.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but yeah, I'm good Living, balancing life, finding my routine. Everything's not for everybody, and so I just you know I'm about to get used like the kids going back to school soon too, so just trying to get the house organized and everything All right.

Speaker 1:

Well, that's our check-in.

Speaker 2:

All right, what's our topic for today? Girl code. We had a long intro. This time we did Girl code, so I will let you lead it.

Speaker 1:

Three. So we need to know what do you guys think? The top three things are for the girl code.

Speaker 1:

What are the top three rules for a girl code, right, mm-hmm? So I have to always give a little backstory? All right, go ahead. I didn't have a girl code growing up. I didn't know it automatically. Oh, because I had all brothers, mm-hmm. I was a baby and I was selfish, so the girl code wasn't a girl code for me, it was a josh's way or no way code. Yeah, but then I learned I've been learning rule number one I don't care how mad you get at your girl, at your sister, your friend, whatever, don't take it to the internet.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, don't do that. Because we say things when we are upset, when we're mad. It's just human nature to say things like to hurt somebody, right? We all, we're mad. So you just say not that you mean the things that you say, but you say it in the heat of the moment. Why go to the internet to expose your friends that's been your friends for five years, three years, ten years plus. Don't do that. Don't bring these outsiders into your relationship, into their your friends, your ex-friend, whatever into their personal life because, let's say, the friend was out here doing something strange for some change, while she was your friend, you was cool with your friend doing something strange for some change, so don't try to switch up now. Sis, right, stand 10 toes down that both of y'all was cool with doing something strange for some change. Leave it off of the net leave it.

Speaker 2:

I agree, yes, because I'll be ready to fight. Talk about energy, because I'm mature now. So I said that because that's my first normal reaction and response to things. And then my second brain kicked in and it was like Dad, you wouldn't even do that, because I don't even think you would care at this point, because the first people to run to the Internet are the ones looking for fans. They're looking for people, and we said this about guys sometimes looking for fans. They're looking for people, and we said this about guys sometimes they want validation, they want support, they want that rah, rah, rah type stuff and it's like you're not worth my time, you're not worth my energy. I'm not giving you what you want and I don't condone it because I feel like I wouldn't do that to somebody I care about and to me that tells what type of friend that person is.

Speaker 2:

So I know where you belong in my life now and every situation we've been in before I'm going to question Because I'm going to be like dang, was she really my friend those times that I backed that person up? Should I have? Did they really do what that person said they did Right and I had their back? Like that's the type of questions I start asking myself when people show their true colors.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no for real.

Speaker 2:

I got one that's kind of tied to that.

Speaker 1:

What.

Speaker 2:

Correct your friends in private, you know what I'm saying Mm. I'm saying regardless of what they do on public.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that is tied to that yeah, because I feel like as friends, like even if you're out and something happens, right, because it could be a couple different situations where it's like like I might say, come on, it's not worth it, like I might do that, but I'm not going, I'm not going to embarrass my friend, like I'm not going to do that and I'm not going to have her question my relationship with her, and especially if I don't know the full story, because there's some instances where I may not know the full story but the the first thing I'm going to do is be like not here, like we ain't doing this, not right now?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, not right now.

Speaker 2:

It ain't worth it, like let's go, and then we get home and you be like I'm like girl now you know.

Speaker 1:

And that runs into number two Holding your friends accountable.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, grown women we got to do that, we got to do that.

Speaker 1:

Like, just don't think.

Speaker 1:

All my friends know and I don't have a lot of people that I call friends, but everyone that I'm close to- know, but my girlfriends they know, if you're looking for somebody to agree with everything you're saying, don't call josh, yeah, same, because I'm definitely same, because I'm definitely not going to agree, because I'm gonna look at it now that I've grown so much. I'm looking at it from everybody's perspective. Like, well, let me figure out why such and such was acting like this towards you. Oh, did you ever take in consideration their feelings? Because a lot of the times I was, um, labeled one way like selfish and stuff like that, sometimes back in the day, but nobody took in consideration, like what I was going through. They just expected me to always be there and always come through for them and nobody took in consideration that I was a team mom, so the fun that my friends were having I couldn't always jump and have that fun. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

So just speaking from experience, like, hold your friends accountable and take yourself out of your shoes sometimes and put yourself in their shoes, because life, be life, be a life in, and we don't be knowing. Although you might think, yeah, I talk to my friend every day, or I talk to my friend every day, or I talk to my friend here and there, you really never know what goes on behind closed doors in their homes. Not forget the homes, forget anything physical, mentally uh, my mental day-to-day compared to yours might come be, might be completely different. We're facing different things at all times, so it's just hold them accountable and give grace. I agree, hold them accountable and give grace, I have empathy for people.

Speaker 2:

Like back in the day I used to get so mad I could say some very hurtful things. That's me and not on purpose. It's like I've always been the nice person, like I've always been calm, always been like real rational. But if you made me mad, I'm going to say some crazy thing to you. My daughter. Act like me. I was thinking of what she said.

Speaker 1:

She said I said.

Speaker 2:

You said that, lord jesus, help us girl, oh god. But anyway, back on track, holding your friends accountable. I live by that for sure, because we're not perfect and we're not always going to get it right, and I need that same type of love for my friends, like I need people to challenge me sometimes, because you only grow when you're put in positions that you've never been in Right, and I really learned that through sports. Like not to even go there, but just for an analogy, is like right now I'm trying to get into walking again and so I'm walking around the whole neighborhood, and so last week I'm like this is becoming easy. I need to add one more lap around because I need to challenge myself and I need to grow, I need to get better, I need to increase my endurance.

Speaker 2:

A lot of people don't like to be challenged. They take everything as a fight rather than a challenge, and there's there are two different things. Just because I'm challenging you doesn't mean I dislike you and it doesn't mean that I want to fight with you. I'm just challenging you to look at a different perspective.

Speaker 1:

So I think it's important Holding your friend accountable on the receiving end. You don't have to be in defense mode, yeah, and I can hold you accountable two ways. I can hold you accountable to say, well, you were wrong. I'm just using you as an example. You were wrong for talking to him like that. Or I can hold you accountable, like, have you been studying for that test? Yeah, so it's two ways. Yeah, Get you together and still get you together. Right, because we got to hold each other accountable. Accountability partner, exactly, and I would expect the same if we're going to level up I don't know about every, I don't know about y'all, right, but everything attached to me is going to win. Say that again.

Speaker 1:

So everything attached to me is going to win. So, therefore, if I'm holding you accountable. Hold me accountable. We got to win. You know I'm winning. We got to win Like period.

Speaker 2:

Like let's eat.

Speaker 1:

We all going to eat, let's eat. You know it. And goes right back to doing it in private. I don't have to hold you accountable in front of everybody. Now, if them people come in here and they think they about to just say whatever they want about you and you could be dead wrong no, you're not Girl. But soon as they get up out of Pee Pee's lounge. And why you do that? Because you was wrong, but not in front of the people.

Speaker 2:

Yo, I have two sisters, so this is real life. This is real life Because there have been many a times that we go out and had to throw some hands and then I'm like, well, what was we fighting?

Speaker 1:

for Exactly.

Speaker 2:

And then come to find out the older one. Yeah, because she be ready and she got that personality. That's like she just chill and she got like just a strong aura and she, everybody can't take that, everybody can't handle it.

Speaker 1:

That's and that's me, not to veer off but everybody can't handle my aura. So it's like she mean, yep, she, she don't know how to talk to people. No, you insecure me. No, I know how to talk to people. You're insecure and that has nothing to do with me, that's a you problem. But anyway, back to our girl code.

Speaker 2:

Yo, I'm gonna just say this now if we have a conversation later about me holding Josh accountable in any type of relationship conversation, it will probably be that. It will probably be that because I have a feeling first of all, because where you?

Speaker 1:

trying to go with this because I got time today because I can see it.

Speaker 2:

I can see it, but could see it. I could see it. But you know what? God gonna send you? A man that's gonna soften you so quick that you're gonna be like I don't let you say first of all mr clean, hand me there oh see, I knew okay. So that's the type she needs an alpha man, because I'm trying to prepare the audience.

Speaker 1:

No, that's not what we doing. Listen, yeah, I need all of that, but this ain't the time nor the place.

Speaker 2:

She needs an alpha and she needs a confident man, not someone who's second guessing themselves, not someone who don't know who they are. She needs a God-fearing man.

Speaker 1:

Listen, in this era of my life, this journey of my life, I don't want nobody around me.

Speaker 1:

The girl cold, yeah, I don't want nobody around me that I feel like I got to walk on eggshells with and you shouldn't or especially if y'all know me and to know that I'm trying to do better with my mouth and that nothing I'm saying is intentionally to hurt anybody and I'm always consciously working on my delivery. If I have to walk on eggshells around anybody, stay away from me. Yeah, you don't want that. I don't want that energy, I just don't.

Speaker 2:

Because you know what it is. Some people are probably intimidated by you.

Speaker 1:

Maybe so, but that's the them and God problem. That's, yeah, 100%.

Speaker 2:

They need to go talk to God about why they don't feel like that about themselves. 100% their problem, because you could only let someone intimidate you. You know what I'm saying Exactly. You're not responsible for their feelings and I know that.

Speaker 1:

And I know that.

Speaker 2:

That's 100% of them problems, so I agree with that that's tough.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I've been dealing with that all my life. All my life. Yeah, that sucks. I ain't gonna lie, it's hard it's really hard and I'm about to get emotional. It's okay cause.

Speaker 2:

I could give you a hug. I know I'm about to get emotional. It's okay, because I could give you a hug, I know.

Speaker 1:

I'm all right. No, it really sucks to be a girl's girl, right? And because you love hard and you so passionate and that's another part I'm passionate and I'm passionate about my friends. So, and I'm territorial and I don't want nobody to hurt my people because if you're hurting her, you're hurting me, so I'm passionate about that. When I got your back, I'm standing ten toes down on the side of you, behind you, in front of you, whatever. So don't make me feel like I gotta walk on eggshells, because that's a quick way.

Speaker 2:

You're misunderstood because I'm direct, but you know what it is. You are direct and it's not wrong with that. Like, people who are your friends should know how you're coming regardless, and that's the good thing about being direct is they know what they're gonna get from you and so, basically, don't bring me no bs. You know what I mean and we were straight. But I also feel like this when you find yourself in those situations, and I feel like you know this, so maybe I should talk to other people. If you find yourself in a situation, evaluate your French circle, reevaluate it and ask yourself what level am I operating at? Because not to pull the game of here versus there, but confident women are not intimidated by each other. They're not intimidated by each other Because I know what Josh brings to the table and I know what I bring to the table and therefore there's really, there's no competition Right, we eating together.

Speaker 2:

That's why we sitting here, let me feed you eat, everybody eat.

Speaker 1:

Come on, if y'all some eating girls eat it up there, you go eat it up, yeah and I'm sorry y'all weren't raised and me being an alpha female is because I was raised with alphas, like it's in my blood to be an alpha. It's either in you or it ain't there. You go all right, one more girl. One more girl cool.

Speaker 2:

We had a long intro, so let's.

Speaker 1:

This is a question for the girl. Cool. How do you feel about this? Are brothers off limits for the girl code?

Speaker 2:

they gotta wait till we pass a certain age, because if it's like high school and early 20s, yes, 100, completely, completely. However, I have brothers and there's a lot of people who got their feelings hurt period, yeah, but they were warned that part.

Speaker 1:

So I'm not gonna say, well, let me, let me take, let me throw this back, take it back a little bit. Ashley feels like that's off limits period, because she's looking at it like we've had these conversations. So she's like, no, because I look at him like my brother. So if we all friends and sisters, that's off limits. But in my mind, right, you're grown, I'm grown, I'm going to tell you, don't do it, depending on which person it is brother, cousin, all right, because I have cousins that are like my brothers, same. So, brother, cousin, if you don't take heed to the message, you're on your own, yep. And at the end of the day, if I got to pick a side, it's going to be my brothers, yep and at the end of the day, if I gotta pick a side, it's gonna be my brothers, it my.

Speaker 2:

I can't. You must got some real saints, because no, what do you mean?

Speaker 1:

like?

Speaker 2:

because they being wrong and I'll be telling them. So, if you got, friends.

Speaker 1:

If you have friends, that's always coming around. Your family events and things go left and I'm hosting something at my house for my family and my friends when I pick my side, I mean my brothers, are you mean? Yeah, like if I have to choose who, if there's an invitation list, and I gotta choose who's gonna come. Oh yeah, my brothers and if you feel uncomfortable uncomfortable about being around my brothers that's on you. Yeah, If it's like yeah, yeah, because I'm about to say I'm only going to choose the right side.

Speaker 1:

No, now, as a woman, I'm going to always let you know that I'm a woman first, and you got to do what you got to do, but then I'm also going to let you know that I had told you 100% Don't do that. And my brother is going to take this personal. But this ain't about you, it's about all y'all, but it's the truth.

Speaker 2:

But it is the truth, and it really depends on how close the friends are too, because I feel like those who are super close, they won't really try it honestly.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're right, the ones who are super close.

Speaker 2:

It's more like family.

Speaker 1:

It's more like family and I think that's where Ash was going with it too Like no, we family, we don't do that. You know what I mean, so I get it.

Speaker 2:

But like definitely there's some things.

Speaker 1:

I have all I have brothers, and I'm going to just leave it right there.

Speaker 2:

How do you feel about them just smashing?

Speaker 1:

My friends.

Speaker 2:

They probably didn't, you don't know. Just keep me not knowing. Yeah, right, like, just keep it like that. Yeah, I'm good with it. First of all, I can never see my brother. My brothers are both. It's big age gaps, so it's never gonna be like nothing like that. But I do have. They do have close age gaps, like my younger brother and younger sister and my older brother and older sister. So they, they all they all the same age. I'm dead in the middle, with five years here and three years here.

Speaker 1:

My friends, nah, I ain't the one, but At this point in age right, I have my close Girlfriend. They are, y'all know it's off limits right period. Now, if I meet somebody tomorrow and they're just an acquaintance and it's just like, oh, oh, hey, girl, and then my brother meets you too, and if you don't ask me, I'm not going to say anything. You're not my friend. Friend, you get what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

Let me ask you this what? Because I know this happens. How do you feel if, let's say, they both in a relationship, you have a party or something at your place and they cheating and they hook up.

Speaker 1:

You got to go, get out now. Get out of my house. Don't bring that foolishness over here. But at this day and age I'm going to tell my brothers off for sure. Um, I probably don't want to sit back at my house because, not for nothing if they're both in a relationship. Y'all putting me like my name in, you know, y'all putting me in a situation that I don't want to be in, right, like I don't want to be in it. That's not fair to me, I agree. That's so disrespectful.

Speaker 2:

And then what do you do? You feel like there's nothing you could do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then I'm sitting with my sister-in-law at the next barbecue or at my house, knowing it's a lot to carry, or my friend's husband, whatever, like that's too much, don't put, just leave me out of it. That's why when I, when I move and we have things, nobody even coming, don't even I ain't even got to worry about that. They wouldn't do that in my house.

Speaker 2:

I think siblings are sneaky. That's what I think.

Speaker 1:

So my brothers, because I didn't have any sisters growing up around me. I don't think they think they know All right. So we got this thing called slime. We always use this like undercover word slime. But they know certain things they can do with me. And then they know certain things that's like off limits, Because my one sister-in-law is two of them, Like they're my girls for life. So if my brother was still with either one of them he would hide everything from me.

Speaker 2:

This is one brother, oh, okay.

Speaker 1:

Two different women.

Speaker 2:

Okay because you said two sister-in-laws, yeah, two different women.

Speaker 1:

okay because you said two sisters, but I grew so the first one we like she, that's my, she's still my sis, yeah. And then the other one grew into being that yeah, we weren't that close at first, right, but over time we got closer and closer, so it's just like like I really deal with them like, and so he just know don't do no bs in front of me.

Speaker 1:

I don't even want to know if you're dealing with either one of them. Okay, honestly, but I really highly doubt that. But he knew, like especially that first one. Oh, he knew, he probably was like my sister gonna tell, my sister gonna tell me like yep yep, that's crazy but now I don't know, but my brothers kill me.

Speaker 1:

though we didn't, went from girl code to siblings. Right, my brothers kill me because they'll have a conversation with me. And one day my brother called me like yeah, because you think like me and I'm like, I'm tired of thinking like a nigga, what? Don't tell me that I don't want to think like you. I want people to think I'm soft. I don't want to think like you.

Speaker 2:

It's going to be okay.

Speaker 1:

Dang, it's going to be, okay, so, yeah, so it's just different. It's just different. But at this day and age I think it's off limits. Respectfully, if you know you love me and we like family, it's just something you shouldn't even look at. Yeah, and I know things happen too, so I'm not naive to that.

Speaker 2:

But how do you feel about one time let's say they made a mistake or whatever versus like full blown? How do you feel like if they hid it from you for like months and it was dealing with each other?

Speaker 1:

that happened to me. I thought you said it. No, that did happen to me. My brother was throwing hints. He was like kind of telling me, um, but she was scared and I called, I caught the girl leaving his complex and she didn't even stop and speak. I'm like this girl ain't got no damn sense, because what is she running from? She like literally pulled off. Oh god, I was like why is she?

Speaker 2:

my brother like, I don't know she ain't want you to know what you look, because I told her to don't do it in the first place. That's what I tell everybody.

Speaker 1:

How are you going to see your friend in the parking lot and just pull off and not say nothing? That's wild. Because, she knew. That's weird. I don't care like that though.

Speaker 2:

Because you told her yeah, so now it's on you. Sis, I agree with that 100%. Alright cool, alright well, that episode Is done.

Speaker 1:

So y'all tell us what's your top three girl codes For your friendships. And we didn't even dig all the way deep. We didn't cause it.

Speaker 2:

it's a lie, but we stayed surface level. Yeah, like dating, baby daddies and stuff.

Speaker 1:

I don't even like the term baby daddy. If you're going to date my baby daddy and you're going to take care of my kids, he's yours.

Speaker 2:

Like a friend.

Speaker 1:

Take him, because my real real friend. Clearly you wasn't my friend in the beginning anyway you weren't my friend but if you feel like he is worth our friendship, do it, but make sure you don't forget about them, kids back there.

Speaker 2:

Yo, I'm the same way, though. Get these kids we're gonna have to have a conversation about that because you know how people get getting mad that the girl be doing the king's hair yo every time do it. She come on with her dad like, yeah, it's cute, do it I mean like she did her big one. She's their big one with them brain.

Speaker 1:

You say you coming to get them what y'all need fruit snacks, right, what do y'all need? I order everybody in you coming to get them what y'all need fruit snacks, right?

Speaker 2:

what do y'all need? I order everybody in the house some food.

Speaker 1:

What do y'all need? That's me that's me get these kids like for real that's funny, we'll say that one for another yeah, we'll say that for another day, but it's been nice, it's been real.

Speaker 2:

Yes, interact with us in the comments, let us know. All right, y'all.

People on this episode

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Desiree Underwood-Williams

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Joshlin Bartley

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